Do you have a difficult time delegating tasks to others? Do you assign tasks, but then take them back and do them yourself because you know it will be done “right”? When there is a project to be completed and you are working with a group, do you take on more than your fair share of the workload? These are all symptoms of the “Do It All Myself” Syndrome.

It Is Destructive

Not only is the “Do It All Myself” Syndrome a straight and fast path to burnout for yourself, it robs others of the opportunity to grow and develop healthy self-esteem. People on the receiving end of your DIAM Syndrome, often begin to feel devalued and useless.

It’s a no-win situation because everyone suffers. Success is always just out of reach. If you are managing a department of people or you are running your own business and you lead from a “Do It All Myself” position, it’s highly likely that either you will burnout, your people will burnout and leave, or your business will go down in flames. I know this from my experience of working in organizations in which either the CEO or a department manager made it clear that they could do it all themselves and most everyone else was disposable.

I have also witnessed how destructive the “Do It All Myself” attitude is in marriage and long-term personal relationships as it breaks down the self-esteem of the partner. It leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy when the devalued partner realizes they are not needed, so they decide to let their partner do it all themselves.

Breaking The Pattern

The idea that I must “Do It All Myself” is not an easy belief to dismiss. However it’s critical that you change this way of living for your well-being and the well-being of those around you. The belief most likely emerged when you were let down in the past. Maybe someone failed to take care of something you thought they should have done. To break the pattern, you will need to exercise your “trust muscle”.

The trust muscle is like any other muscle. You have to stress it in order to strengthen it. If you have trouble trusting that others can do things well, here’s what you can do to break the pattern… You will need to start by delegating to others and then taking yourself out of the mix. You are not allowed to take the task back. Unless they ask for your help, you can’t tell the other person how to do the task. Another way to build your “trust muscle” is to start asking for help more often at home and at work. When working in a group, let others take on segments of the project before you volunteer and then only take on a fair share.

Others Will Step Up

When we give them the space to do so, other people will usually step up to take on and do more. They may not do it as quickly as we would like or the way we would have done it. But, by allowing others to do more, we help them to feel valued and grow in ways you cannot imagine. When we learn to trust others to follow through, we can relax and sleep better at night. We thrive, our business thrives and the people around us thrive!

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