LHEA Divorce Support – Facebook Group – Join Today!
Who Can Join?
This group is for women only. I created the group to support women who are contemplating divorce, going through the divorce process or who are already divorced. While it is okay to vent and express your emotions, the group’s purpose is to help you move out of anger, pain and divorce despair. Your life and your time are too precious to waste reliving past hurts or mistakes. If you decide to join, please be open to receiving suggestions that will help you focus on you and not on your ex or soon-to-be-ex (stbx).
It makes little difference if you ex or stbx is a narcissist, bipolar or has any other psychological diagnosis. There is lots of great information out there, but you have better things to do with your time and energy than researching narcissism. To prevent attracting another narcissist into your life, become the most fabulous version of yourself. Narcissist will run the other way. They want nothing to do with women who know their worth.
This divorce support group was designed to help you see what is fabulous about you and help you bring that out into the light! Spend your energy on rediscovering and reinventing yourself!
Are You Contemplating Divorce?
I’ve been there. I felt confused, scared and alone. I didn’t believe I could talk to my parents about my marital problems. My marriage was a disaster and I was so ashamed! You see, I was raised in the Catholic faith and was taught that marriage was forever… no matter what. My husband was physically and verbally abusive. He drank too much and he used drugs. He made fun of my appearance and cheated on me. Because I was very insecure and had almost no self-esteem, I believed that I was not good enough for him or anyone else. I felt trapped and I talked myself into believing that things would get better. I thought, if I made more of an effort not to make my husband mad he would be nicer to me.
Eventually, I came to realize that things were not going to get better. By that time, we had two children who were around 4 and 6 years old. The short version of my story is that I left my husband, and then went back. Finally, when I realized that change was never going to happen, I decided to end the marriage. The time before, during and after the divorce process was difficult, but I not only survived, I thrived. I know you can too! That’s why I started this divorce support group. To help you to thrive!
Your situation may be different than mine was, but you are probably faced with some of the same questions I had…
Some Common Questions
Do any of these resonate with you? Should I stay and try to make this work? Would marriage counseling help? Should I file for divorce go? Can I make it on my own? What about my children? Will it damage my children if I they don’t see their father every day? How do I find a good attorney or mediator? Should I hire a coach or see a psychotherapist? Do I need to move? Where will I move to? Can I support myself financially? How will our assets be divided? What are my legal rights?
Are You Going Through The Divorce Process?
In my marriage, I felt beaten down, overlooked and undervalued. From experience, I can tell you that filing for and going through the divorce process comes with a range of emotions that can leave anyone feeling anxious, sad, angry and uncertain. All the opposite emotions come up as well. One minute I felt excited about my future. The next I wondered if I was emotionally damaging my children. Sometimes I felt ashamed and uncertain about what I had decided to do. The old conditioning about marriage being forever tried to keep me stuck in feelings of shame and doubt.
The blog post on my website that receives the most traffic is titled “My Husband Makes Me Feel Invisible”. That one post has received more hits than any other article! That tells me that women feel invisible in their marriages more often than we might guess.
Some Common Questions
These are some of the most common questions I have heard from women going through divorce. Is the heartache, disappoint and pain ever going to end? Will life ever feel normal again? How will our assets be divided? Should I try to keep the marital home or sell it? I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for most of our marriage, how am I going to support myself (and children)? My soon-to-be-ex already has a girlfriend. How do I deal with that? If my ex remarries, will his new wife be a better mom than me? Will my kids love her more than they love me? My stbx is turning our children against me and they are angry with me about the divorce. What should I do?
Are You Already Divorced?
When they get married, many women set their careers, hobbies and other interests aside to become homemakers and mothers. There is no job more important or satisfying than loving and caring for our children. As long as the marriage stays intact and neither partner loses sight of how important that role is, this arrangement can work well. Unfortunately, 41% to 50% of first marriages end in separation or divorce.
Many stay at home moms, never go back to work outside of the home and continue to be homemakers after the children are grown and have moved out of the house. If the marriage ends, it is very challenging to start over. This is true at any age, but it is especially difficult for women who are in their late 50’s and above.
Divorce is a painful life-changing event, but it can also be an exciting time in your life! The key is to leave the past, and the negative self-talk behind. Break the chains of seeing yourself as a victim so you can reinvent yourself and reimagine your life! So many women will tell you that once they got through the tears and the anger, they were relieved to be free to live their own lives.
Some Common Questions
I haven’t worked outside of the home in ____ years. Do I have any marketable skills? Who will hire someone my age? What can I do to stop feeling so lonely? My ex is living the good life and I have nothing, how do I stop feeling hurt/angry about that? How do I get over the betrayal? What sort of relationship should I have with my ex in-laws?
What To Expect
This group will provide you with a safe haven. A place where you can express the thoughts and the questions that are swirling in your mind. The group will be comprised of other women, just like you. Women who have some of the same questions you have, or who have been where you are and can offer encouragement and hope. Women who can tell you about their experience and perhaps save you from some of the pitfalls of divorce. We are here to support you in whatever stage you are in the divorce process. As you move through the divorce process, you will be able to help others as well.
Here’s to creating a wonderful life!