We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.Albert Einstein
That is a great Einstein quote and it points to what many of us do. We keep turning a problem over and over in our head using exactly the same thinking we used to create the problem. It’s insanity! But that’s what we do. As a Coach, I help my clients to get off the Tilt-A-Whirl carnival ride in their heads, so they can see their other options. I do this by listening to what my clients say about their current situation and what they would rather have in their lives. I help my clients to wake up to the idea that they do have choices and what those choices are. They do have the ability to solve their problems, and create the life they really want to live. By listening and asking questions, I help them to tap into and use their innate intelligence rather than relying on their knowledge.
A Client’s Story
Jennifer (not her real name), was experiencing feelings of inadequacy and lots of doubts about her future in real estate. An experienced and knowledgeable agent who had a great sales track record she was seriously considering getting a regular job. I could tell that this was not something Jennifer really wanted to do. We talked for about an hour or so, and as she talked, Jennifer began to get in touch with her innate wisdom. She realized that real estate is her passion. She loves meeting people and helping them to find the perfect home for them. It became clear to her that leaving that field to do anything else, was not a good decision for her. We discussed how negative thoughts pass through everyone’s mind. The trick is to not take them seriously. We need to dismiss them quickly, so better, healthier thoughts can flow through. This was one of the times, when one coaching session was enough to get Jennifer back on track and moving successfully and joyfully through life.
Intelligence vs Knowledge
Each one of us has direct access to an intelligence greater than us. When we tap into that source, it is like having a PC that is connected to the Internet versus one that only has a hard-drive. Have you ever experienced an “out of the blue” moment? You know, the ones where a brilliant answer came to you, seemingly out of nowhere? That was you tapping into the infinite intelligence that is available to each and every one of us.
Is Coaching the Same as Therapy?
You might wonder if coaching is like therapy. Well it is similar, since it involves conversation and trust. The difference is that the coaching process does not involve delving into your past or diagnosing your psychological condition. Coaching, is focused on finding out who you are and tapping into your hidden potential. From there, we can determine what would make your life work better for you. Coaching focuses on moving you forward.
The past belongs in the past. It is helpful in therapy, but not in the coaching relationship. The value of the past lies in the lessons we learned, not in the circumstances where we learned them. In fact, replaying painful memories over and over in our minds, keeps us stuck in those disturbing feelings and makes it very difficult to move on. You are free to discuss your past with me and talk about what you think is holding you back, but our main focus will be on the present.
Similar to what a therapist does, in each coaching session, I endeavor to listen for what is beneath my client’s words. This is so I can point her toward her own wisdom and enable her to find her own answers. Unlike a therapist, I rarely give my client advice, but I help her find her own best solutions. Anything I come up with, will not be nearly as effective or useful as the answers my client will come up with herself when her mind is clear and focused.
As a Coach, I truly care about my clients and want to help them to lead happier more fulfilling lives in all areas. This is accomplished through honest conversations. Simple, relaxed discussions that will help my clients to create the lives they want to live.
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